By Zamboni
Wow, so much news today. And tomorrow's going to be even newsier. We cats have lots of thoughts, but we have to get to the most important headline first.
Pope Francis said — and we still can't believe this — that couples who have pets instead of human children are "selfish." WHAT! — the dude took his name from the patron saint of animals! Not only that, but hey, selfishness is what we pets expect. Doesn't he know that the world revolves around us and our wonderfulness? Ten demerits for Frankie.
Merrick Garland spoke today about the Department of Justice and January 6. He didn't spill a lot of beans, because, well, he's Attorney General. But there was one spilled bean worth noting: DOJ is investigating everybody, not just the goons who broke windows and smeared feces on the walls of the Capitol. "At any level," Garland said. That means prosecutions begin at the bottom, and no one is off the table. Hang in there, folks. We know it's been a year, but building an airtight case takes time.
Ron DeSantis spoke at an event this afternoon and appeared to have trouble breathing. As they say, we're just going to leave that there.
The US added double the number of jobs that experts expected in December — 807,000! When will the Biden socialist nightmare end?
It's been a year since Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff flipped two Georgia Senate seats blue, and we cats are here for it.
Finally, we're sad to say that this is the first time since 1928 that Walter Mondale isn't around to celebrate his birthday. We cats were annoyed that at his passing last year, Fritz didn't receive nearly as much attention as Bob "Democrat Wars" Dole did at his. It's vexing. Mondale was a consequential Vice President — he set the standard for all veeps after him. Which means credit is due to Jimmy Carter, who was secure enough to make Mondale a true governing partner and not relegate him to bucket-of-spit world. We cats salute them both, and we PURR.
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