Friday, June 4, 2010

Cat Fight! S.C. Republicans Go Nuclear

By Baxter

Oil spewing in the Gulf, Israel's blockade of Gaza, perfect games ruined — there's no shortage of earth-shaking news events that we cats could comment on today. What better time to focus on Nikki Haley's sex life?

That's because furious, no-holds-barred, intraparty Republican fisticuffs mean just one thing: fun, fun, fun! You're probably familiar by now with the aforementioned Ms. Haley, who wants to be governor of South Carolina but who's been hit with not one but two allegations of extramarital naughtiness.

The latest one, as before, comes from a fellow Republican, Larry Marchant, who claims he and Haley had a one-night stand during a Salt Lake City school-choice convention. Aside from the obvious — that right-wing Christians who lecture other people on their lives should be the last folks cheating on their spouses — there are soooo many things wrong with that. We hardly know where to begin, but we'll try.

Sounds like Haley and Marchant were misbehaving on state business. Remind you of anyone — like the Appalachian Trail guy?

So they were at a conference to figure out how South Carolina parents could be reimbursed to pull their children out of public schools and send them to private (read: religious) schools, where no doubt the kids would be taught the virtues of abstinence and the sanctity of marriage. And that's where they decided to break one of the Ten Commandments?

Did they at least have the decency to pay for a cheap motel room on their own — or did they use one of their state-reimbursed hotel suites? Taxpayers have a right to know. Heck, we cats want to know.

How many calls did Haley make and/or receive on her state-paid mobile phone from her husband and children while she was in Utah, um, doing what she was doing?

Who in their right mind would travel to Salt Lake City for extramarital sex, anyway?

It's all very amusing, and it makes us cats PURR. The fact that the hapless Ms. Haley was just endorsed by the famous quitter from Alaska before the roof fell in — well, that's just catnip.

2 comments:

catsitter01 said...

It's about time women had equal rights, especially in the broad room. I mean, who does this woman think she is, sleeping with other men? And a one night stand? Why she's almost as bad as a tom-cat. I say spay her before she has a litter or put a bell around her neck. Where did she learn such behavior, our democats are all fixed.

The Cat's Meow said...

We cats couldn't agree more, even though the thought of Republicans having sex makes us want to hack up a hairball.