Missed Opportunties

By Zamboni

One of the issues haunting Meg "Somebody Buy Me a Makeover" Whitman in the race for California Governor — aside from her shoving an eBay employee — is why she's so rarely voted in her lifetime.

"I should have voted, and I didn't," she now wistfully opines.

Hm. We cats are not impressed with candidates who can't get up off their fat asses to get to the polls. So we find Whitman's "explanation" unsatisfactory.

However, Meg has given us a real gift: The perfect Republican response to all manner of GOP-created messes, screw-ups and disasters. Here are some examples.

To Fred Malek: "Why didn't you tell Nixon and Haldeman to stuff it when they ordered you to hunt down Jews and fire them?"
Fred: "I should have, and I didn't."

To John McCain: "Why didn't you look more substantively into Sarah Palin's lack of qualifications to be Vice President?"
John: "I should have, and I didn't."

To Sarah Palin: "As a self-styled exemplary parent and Christian role model, why didn't you prevent your school-age daughter from having unprotected sex?"
Famous Quitter from Alaska: "I should have, and I didn't."

To Dick Cheney: "Why didn't you tell oil executives to take a hike, instead of letting them dictate U.S. energy policy for eight years?"
Father of the BP Oil Spill: "I should have, and I didn't."

To George W. Bush: "Why didn't you pay attention to that August 2001 Presidential Daily Brief that warned you about Bin Laden preparing to attack the United States?"
Worst Person Who's Ever Lived: "I should have, and I didn't."