Depressed about the state of the world lately? If you've had your fill of crashing planes, fighting in the Middle East, and immigrant children accused of carrying the ebola virus, take heart — "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell is coming to your rescue.
That's because the corruption trial of Virginia's former Republican Governor and his squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching, covetous wife starts tomorrow! Which means that while we're having a lovely, relaxing Sunday evening right now, Bob and Maureen are, um, not.
We cats are so looking forward to this trial that we're actually thinking of missing a few naps to follow it. Meanwhile, here are some thoughts on the excitement to come:
Defense attorneys are allegedly going to claim that Maureen accepted baubles from bogus-pill-pusher "Jonnie" Williams without Transvaginal Bob's knowledge. In short: Bob will throw wifey under the bus, like any good Christian husband should.
Defense attorneys also will try to slam Williams for boasting to Bob that he knew Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. We cats think this could backfire. Jurors might wonder why, after hearing something like that, Transvaginal Bob didn't run screaming into the night.
Even in their final days in Richmond's Executive Mansion, Maureen was trying to cadge free stuff. She demanded four boxes of Christmas ornaments that belonged to the state. "The Citizens Advisory Council for Furnishing and Interpreting the Mansion...offered to let her pay for them," The Washington Post reports. "She declined." What else is there to say?
Oh, maybe one thing: We cats would like to have a dollar for every time that, over the coming weeks, a pundit will call the McDonnell downfall a "tragedy." Sorry, folks. The tragedy is what Transvaginal Bob and his repulsive party, with its unbending majority in Richmond, have done to the women of Virginia and the overall state of the Commonwealth. Which makes us cats HISS.
(IMAGE: Jonnie and Maureen, before the roof fell in.)
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