Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Unconvincing Performance

By Miss Kubelik

As film buffs, we cats are aware that John Travolta's star turn in the 2000 stinker "Battlefield Earth" is considered by many to be the worst by an actor, ever. And we agreed — until we heard Ted Cruz's recent rant about Mississippi.

Cruz took to the ultra-right Mark Levin radio show to belatedly slam the kerfuffle between Senator Thad Cochran and his crazy teabag opponent, Chris McDaniel. "The conduct of the Washington, DC machine in the Mississippi runoff was incredibly disappointing," he opined.

Cruz couldn't have sounded less convincing than if he were reading from a script — which we cats were sure he was. Because back on June 25 — the day after the election — Cruz said something quite different: "I certainly congratulate my colleague, Thad." We cats know this because our off-the-radar fascist friends over at Free Republic were just freaking furious about it.

You read that right: We've never seen such blistering Freeper comment on their erstwhile hero, Cruz. "He’s condoning the disgusting RINO backstabber tactics," screamed one, "and not helping if it goes to court!" Wailed another, "Why didn’t Cruz just shut up until the possible legal challenge is filed?" (Of course, you'd never know any of this if you only read The Washington Post, because it completely failed to mention Cruz's earlier congrats to Cochran. If Katherine Graham were alive today, she'd be spinning in her grave.)

So it's clear to us cats that Ted Cruz is a weak sister — plainly taken to task by his angry, hateful base, and desperate to make amends. Don't make room on your shelf for an Oscar, sir. You won't be winning it.

Meanwhile, goodness gracious: What's it going to take for the Republican powers that be to give Cruz the boot? Since when did holding a leadership position in the National Republican Senatorial Committee not define you as a member of the "DC machine"?

Once again, the failure of McConnell, Cornyn, Moran, et.al. to rein in the quisling they invited into their inner sanctum ranks as one of the lamest acts of their sorry political careers. But don't rush to fix things, boys. Because you're all making us PURR.

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