Friday, December 12, 2014

Birds (And Other Critters) Of Paradise

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are not big fans of the Catholic Church, but boy, we sure are intrigued by this Pope Frankie guy. He's quickly turned into the only pontiff we'd want to have a beer with.

The latest reason, naturally, is his assertion that animals go to heaven.

Okay, let's qualify this. Francis said, "Paradise is open to all God's creatures," and he said it in response to a little boy whose dog had died. But you know — you start with dogs, so you must mean cats; how could you not? And then there are all those animals that humans eat, like cows and pigs and fish and what-not — and well, you go far enough and all hell breaks loose. But believe us, heaven would be a more fun place if we were there.

Like Frankie's other pronouncements on gay people and unmarried moms and all the other fallen folks that Catholic conservatives hate (calling Pat Buchanan!), this is driving certain quarters crazy. We cats like that. After the retrograde John Paul II and the Nazi Benedict, Frankie is a breath of truly fresh air.

At 77, Francis is no spring chicken. He figures he doesn't have a lot of time on the throne, so he's being bold and making his mark. Or at least, he understands the breadth of his power and is completely willing to make the conservatives mad. We cats wish that our own President had as much moxie.

The icing on the cake? Rick Santorum surely thinks Pope Francis is a dangerous nut. He's probably plotting with the cardinals right now to get rid of him. Will we hear a lot of criticism of Frankie on the Santorum campaign trail? We cats PURR at the thought.

No comments: