Thursday, June 18, 2015

Dangerous, But Only Because Armed

By Zamboni

Well, this has been one heckuva terrible day. We cats hate to turn on the TV and see photos of lovely people who are now dead for no good reason other than this country's never-ending thirst for guns, guns and more guns. We're wondering if the father of the strangely spelled (and even more strangely coiffed) "Dylann" Roof feels any responsibility for the deaths of South Carolina State Senator Clementa Pinckney and eight others.

Why? Well, call us old-fashioned, but we cats can't imagine buying a .45-caliber pistol for a kid with a birthday. Especially one with an unhealthy admiration for apartheid and the odd notion that African Americans — even while they're being shot in the back and beaten and tasered and choked and wrestled to the ground and who knows what else by police officers nationwide — are somehow "taking over the country."

You know, we keep saying it, and like the President when he spoke about the Charleston massacre today, we are exhausted by it all. But we'll say it again: Give a loser like Roof — with his Moe Howard bowl cut and his white supremacist views — a handgun, and innocent people die. Keep the Glock out of his hands, and he stays in the basement eating Cheetos and chatting with other impotent men on hate sites, hurting no one.

Sorry, but we don't have anything more profound to say about Charleston than that. Except that we thought it was an interesting coincidence that the Supreme Court just happened to release today their decision relieving the state of Texas issuing specialty license plates with the Confederate flag. (Just the kind of thing "Dylann" Roof would put on his car, we bet.) The conservative justice who crossed the floor to vote with the lefties? Clarence Thomas. We cats PURR.

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