Can We Stop?

By Baxter

We cats admit it: We have never been charmed by bathroom humor. It's not only icky, it's lazy and obvious. Witty people never rely upon it.

So we find it interesting that White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has decided to try to buttress the Trumpsters' false timeline on the Rex Tillerson firing via toilet jokes. Kelly has claimed that he gave Tillerson a head's up on his sacking by telling the Secretary of State — fourth in line to the Presidency, we might add —  while he was, um, traveling back from Africa and on the throne.

Ugh, ugh, ugh! Can we please go back to the days when grownups ran the government? We don't have to travel too far... just any time prior to January 20, 2017 will do. (And yes, we know all about Lyndon Johnson screaming at aides from the john. We don't approve of that, either — or the fact that every movie about LBJ these days can't resist depicting that particular scene. Enough, already.)

We're not prudes. We'd just like to insist on a certain amount of decorum when it comes to the Executive Branch. To those who would accuse Bill Clinton of debasing the office of the Presidency, we would simply assert that back then, at least we never had to entertain anybody's bowel movements, only blue-dress semen stains — one of the more preferable bodily emissions, in our view.

When Barack Obama was briefed on the more salacious parts of the Steele Dossier, he apparently asked his national security adviser, Susan Rice, "Why am I hearing this?" We couldn't agree with President Obama more. Can we please return to something more genteel, or is that absolutely not possible? We cats HISS.