Tuesday, December 11, 2018

The Guardians Of The Galaxy (That's Our Way Of Saying These Guys Are Superheroes)

By Miss Kubelik

In a big up-yours to Donald "Enemies of the People" Trump, TIME magazine has chosen murdered and threatened journalists as their People of the Year.

Naturally, we think that TIME should pick Cats of the Year, and put us on the cover every time. But this "Guardians" thingy is good. It was obvious that Trump was irritated by it, because he picked a fight with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer in the Oval Office this morning with the cameras rolling. (We may be biased, but Nancy and Chuck won. Trump is on record, taking responsibility for a government shutdown. And "Please don’t characterize the strength that I bring to this meeting" is a Pelosi-to-Trump retort that will live for the ages.)

Meanwhile, while the hard-core Trumpsters will see 2018's Person of the Year as a big yawn — they don't care about journalists, and don't really understand the First Amendment — we find it a satisfying coda to some truly horrible and depressing stories. It doesn't quite make up for getting gunned down, charged with tax fraud, sent to jail, or strangled and dismembered by lackeys for a crown prince. But if Khashoggi were around, he might appreciate it. "It's...very rare that a person's influence grows so immensely in death," TIME's editor Edward Felsenthal said.

Why do we think that Donald Trump's influence will never, in the end, be even a fraction of these journalists'? We cats PURR.

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