Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Litmus Test


By Miss Kubelik

It's the three-month anniversary of the Trump insurrection against the US Capitol. The FBI is working its way through the mob and arresting them — but slowly, sad to say. Every day there are more pleas to help identify rioters from fuzzy screen and video grabs. We want them all ID'd and hauled off to the hoosegow: Lock them up!

Meanwhile, the lawsuits against Benedict Donald are piling up. The NAACP is adding 10 new plaintiffs to its original complaint, brought on behalf of Congressmen Bennie Thompson and Eric Swalwell. Two Capitol police officers are suing Trump for the injuries they sustained from the mob he inspired. And surely Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic aren't yet finished with their brilliant, billion-dollar defamation filings against Sidney Powell and the Giuliani clown car. Legal beagles are waiting for Trump himself to be their next target.

We'd like to get in on this game. Are there any Americans out there who would like to join a class-action suit against Trump, for the pain, suffering and trauma he inflicted on those of us who care deeply about the integrity of our democracy? If so, we're in.

Watching that assault on the Capitol was a distressful watershed moment for us. Any Republican who is silent on it, let alone complicit in or supportive of it, is a traitor in our book. Any future candidate, for whatever office — national, state or local — who doesn't condemn it strongly enough will never get our vote. And it'll be the first question to any political hopeful who dials our phone or shows up on our doorstep. In the meantime, let's sue! We cats HISS.

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