Sunday, December 24, 2023

Woodymania

By Baxter

In the category of You Learn Something New Every Day, this was the year that we discovered Canada's own Woody the Talking Christmas Tree. Which means that 2023 was very good.

Every holiday season, Woody presides over a mall in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia — and his gig is to creep out adults, frighten small children, and make a lot of eye-rolling, tree-related puns. (There is a guy inside him who voices his comments in real time. Yep, his lips move.) Woody also accepts offerings of Cinnabons from intimidated shoppers. He's been around since 1980 — with a 15-year hiatus, during which he got revamped to a more benign face (he used to be uglier). We think he's still a bit off-putting. But you can't beat his Twitter account.

Woody's last day at the mall, apparently, is Christmas Eve. Surprising that he doesn't hang around for Boxing Day. But it was clear today was the end when he tweeted this. Have a tree-mendous Christmas, everybody. We cats PURR.

"'Twas the night before Xmas
And all through the mall
Not a retail employee was stirring
A shout out to all!
Me, all punned out, and Santa icing his lap
Just settled down to a Cinnabon snack
Back to the North Pole
It’s okay, I’m alright
Merry Creepymas to all
To all a good night."

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