Memo to Bob Dole: Look in the Mirror

By Zamboni

Entire libraries have been written about feline behavior, we know. But some days we're hard-pressed to understand why humans — especially Republicans — do the things they do.

Today's example: Bob Dole. The former Senator and wildly unsuccessful 1996 GOP Presidential candidate has sent a blistering e-mail to Scott McClellan, taking him to task for writing What Happened and calling him a "miserable creature" for turning on the Bush Administration.

Now, we cats have a couple of reactions to this.

First, we note that, like the other members of the GOP attack machine, former Senator Dole doesn't even try to refute the substance of what Mr. Pudgy says in his memoir. Instead, he just goes after him personally.

But second, unless the former Senator is staging some fiendishly clever, red-herring attack to help Mr. McClellan sell books, we find the e-mail to be over-the-top virulent. So over the top, that at first we doubted its authenticity. Mr. Dole is one angry man, and we're wondering why.

Is it because after so many plastic surgeries, Mr. Dole no longer has a face? Take a look at this photo on CNN's website. We've seen Sphynx ponems that aren't stretched as tightly as this.

Or is it because he's worried about wife Liddy's North Carolina Senate seat? Could be. With only a few million dollars in the bank, Mrs. D. already has had to go on the air with commercials for her re-election — because her Democratic opponent, State Senator Kay Hagan, is neck and neck with her in the polls. In fact, the polls are so even that two weeks ago, the Lidster made Chris Cillizza's list of endangered Senate seats for the first time. We're guessing that the immense African-American turnout for Senator Obama in the North Carolina Presidential primary, plus his appeal to young voters in the state, have made the Doles awfully nervous.

And when you're expecting "cat"astrophe in the fall, you tend to get a little cranky.

But — "miserable creature"? It would have been nice if former Senator Dole had been more outraged about what Mr. McClellan wrote rather than the fact that he wrote it. In other words, why is this World War II vet more worried about the Bushies being outed on the Iraq war than he is about the 4,000-plus soldiers who have died — or the thousands who have been maimed — or the thousands more who are trying to kill themselves?

We HISS at former Senator Dole for not realizing who the "miserable creature" truly is.