Bush to U.S. Retailers: Drop Dead

By Sniffles

Why does George W. Bush hate America?

That may sound a bit drastic, but we cats can't come to any other conclusion. Not because of all the horrible things Bush has done to the country (too numerous to list here, although it'll be President-elect Obama's job to fix them). No, we think Bush hates America because this holiday season, he's apparently refused to be seen doing the one thing he urged us all to do after September 11 — shop.

With retailers nationwide reaping such poor holiday profits this year, we can't think of anything they would have appreciated more than a photo op of the Commander-in-Chief buying presents for his family. Sure, it would have only been symbolic, but every little bit helps. Bush could even have been seen buying nice but inexpensive gifts. That would have conveyed an important message: You don't have to spend a ton of money — just spend.

We cats estimate that an excursion like that would have only taken a couple of hours out of Bush's day. But, no — as with so many other matters that require him to think beyond himself, he can't be bothered; he doesn't care.

We cats HISS at Bush, for this and so many other reasons. It makes us even more nostalgic for the days of the unstoppable First Shopper, Bill Clinton. Okay, maybe he was buying gifts for Monica, but at least he was injecting money into the economy.