John Edwards, Total Jerk

By Sniffles

We cats tend to cut politicians a lot of slack on their personal lives as long as they don't lecture the rest of us on how to conduct ourselves. (Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, David Vitter, John Ensign, Mark Sanford, et. al., please take note.)

But we have to break with our tradition this time. Because we simply must declare that former Senator John Edwards is a complete moron.

John, we were disappointed in you after your 2004 Vice Presidential debate with Cheney, in which you were only marginally better than the lamebrain Joe Lieberman was in 2000. But now that the media are reporting that you're close to admitting paternity of that other woman's child — and that you allegedly promised her you'd marry her after your wife Elizabeth died of cancer — we are disgusted.

Ugh. We cats SNARL at you, and pee on the cuffs of your Brooks Brothers slacks. Come back to us in about 30 years, after you've atoned for this behavior with a ton of Ted Kennedy-like good works. In the meantime, you can't blame us if we hope that Elizabeth outlives you by decades.