McDonnell Outs Himself

By Sniffles

In the category of Stuff That Comes Back to Haunt You, Virginia gubernatorial candidate Robert McDonnell — who's tried to cast himself lately as a reasonable Republican — is suddenly in hot water.

As a graduate student at Regent University — which masquerades as a school but which in our view really serves as Pat Robertson's personal right-wing Christian training camp — McDonnell wrote a 99-page thesis in 1989 about the horrible damage people like working women and gays were doing to America, and what Republicans should do about it. (Hint: Going back in time was not an option, but from his tone, McDonnell clearly yearned to do so.)

We cats will not address the question of whether there are any reasonable Republicans left in this world (although we think there aren't, and the McDonnell hubbub just goes to show you we're right). We just think it's very funny that a panicked McDonnell is now claiming his thinking has "evolved."

For two reasons. First, we thought right-wing religious fanatics didn't believe in Charles Darwin. But second — folks, the guy was 34 when he wrote this. Thirty-four-year-olds are grownups. Big-time grownups. Practically old enough to be President.

Take it from us cats: We know about leopards. They're our relatives. And they don't change their spots.

(IMAGE: Burt Lancaster in Il Gattopardo, 1963)