For the First Time, We're Sorry Charlton Heston is Dead

By Sniffles

Here is the now-notorious Washington Wizard Gilbert Arenas in a new ad campaign for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

(Even as members of the animal kingdom, we cats often find PETA to be off the wall — and, um, Mr. Arenas, too. But despite his other failings, we applaud him for believing that we four-footed creatures should keep our fur.)

However, when Arenas was indefinitely suspended for carrying guns into the Wizards' locker room, PETA wasn't the first advocacy organization that popped into our heads. Instead, we were wondering how quickly the National Rifle Association would jump to his defense. After all, aren't Gilbert's God-given Second Amendment rights being infringed?

Curious as — well, as cats, we visited the NRA website. Hm. Nothing — at least, not on the home page. So we did a search on the site for "Gilbert Arenas," and we got the following message: "No results found. Please try another search term."

Gee, the NRA appears to be remaining silent on this. Could it be that they're a tad uncomfortable about defending the gun rights of a tall, rich, handsome African-American dude who's covered with tattoos and who plays for a majority-black city? Or is it because he doesn't believe in wearing fur? We thought the NRA believed the sanctity of the Second Amendment trumped everything.

Wayne LaPierre, we await your answer!