Kim Simac, the vapid blonde teabagger who failed to unseat Democratic State Senator Jim Holperin in Wisconsin's recall elections yesterday, is apparently a "children's book author."
But who knows, really? So many of these political figures say they write, when of course we all know they can't. (The famous quitter from Alaska immediately comes to mind.) And Simac's publisher's website only describes her as "a conservative activist and Christian patriotic speaker." Not a word about any literary qualifications.
But okay, we'll take her at her word. And now that a friend of ours has shared some of Simac's gag-inducing verse, we cats are inspired to write a bit of — forgive the expression — doggerel ourselves.
So here's Kim Simac's ridiculous ode to the Second Amendment — slightly, um, reworked.
I really love my country,
Its people? Not so much.
Especially if they're black or brown
Or Democrats 'n such.
So my rifle's my good buddy.
Of me it is a part.
I love my gun like nothing else,
With all my cold, dead heart.
I cling to all my weapons
And the dear old GOP.
My rifle's always at my side
Where Jesus Christ should be.
But I'm sure my views are Christian.
It's what my Bible said.
So I fight to preserve our children's rights
To shoot each other dead.
2 comments:
The book you've shown with the grammar school quality illustration reeks of vanity publishing. Are we even sure it's a real publisher and not an I'm-so-incredbly- untalented-I-had- to-publish- this myself press?
The publisher appears to be a Christian outfit, which should explain its amateurish look. On its home page, it says it is "committed to finding and publishing meaty, tasty, and easily digestible books on Christian theology, American and Church history, and Christ-honoring true stories of men and women of great faith. Our authors seek to illuminate God’s Word and God’s Laws, applying these precepts and truths to all areas of life and living." We cats want to know what "meaty" means.
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