We cats have just returned from Canada, where the Conservative government is embroiled in a Senate scandal. That's already a little weird because people don't usually free-associate "scandal" with the word "Canada." And it's doubly so because the Canadian Senate doesn't really do much. All the power rests in the House of Commons.
But, politically, the ever-unappealing Prime Minister Stephen Harper has a problem. Since the disgraced Senators are all Tories, Harper is trying to protect himself by tossing them out of the upper chamber altogether. This has split the Conservative caucus deeply. Wow! Canadian Tories are fighting with each other just like Republicans in America are!
South of the 49th parallel, our week and a half away has brought no miracle cures to the fractured GOP. Peter King is still railing against the teabags, Rick Santorum is going after Ted Cruz, the Freeps and their friends want to primary everyone in sight, and Rancid Pieface is still nowhere to be found.
Things are also looking bleak for Virginia gubernatorial candidate Ken "Abortion Stops the Beating Heart of a Future Republican Voter" Cuccinelli and the crazy hater he's got as a running mate for lieutenant governor. So bad that people are starting to speculate that the Republican vying for attorney general, Mark Obenshain, may be the party's last, best hope to avoid a sweep.
"He’s certainly conservative, but he’s been a unifying force in the party," said former Congressman Tom Davis. "He’s not been a polarizing figure."
To which we cats say, really? The "personhood amendment" is not polarizing? Banning birth control pills and forms of IUDs is not polarizing? Running happily on the same ticket with Cuccinelli and the crazy hater for lieutenant governor is not polarizing? Opposing the bipartisan solution to Northern Virginia's intractable transportation problems is not polarizing? Suspecting all women who miscarry of having an illegal abortion is not polarizing?
If not, please do tell us what is polarizing. Because if your definition is as wacky as we think it is, your party has worse problems than we thought. We cats PURR.
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