Alberta-Born, Alberta-Born, It's Odd To Be Alberta-Born

By Sniffles

Hang onto your hats. It looks like the 2016 Presidential campaign is about to get its first real candidate. We give you, fresh out of the Republican clown car, the junior Senator from Texas: Ted Cruz.

In other words, the nutcase whom Sarah Palin helped put in the Senate has decided that Tom Cotton has gotten quite enough of the right-wing spotlight, thank you very much, and he — Rafael/"Ted" — is going to take it back. (Shucks, just when we were starting to enjoy all the comparisons between Cotton and Norman Bates.)

But hold on a second. We cats would like to know why Cruz thinks he can be President. He was born in Canada. Now, we like Canada a lot, and even own some property up there. But we don't pretend that we're qualified to be Prime Minister, let alone an MP. Why do Cruz and his teabag supporters think he ranks as a "natural-born" American citizen?

Oh! — they'll tell you — that's easy. It's because although Rafael was born in Alberta and his father was Cuban, his mom was American. So everything's cool.

To which we cats say, piffle. Because these are the same teabags who've been screaming for the last six years that Barack Obama was born in Kenya. Which he wasn't, of course. But if it hasn't mattered that Obama's mother was American — if that didn't make Obama a natural-born citizen, no matter where Ann Dunham gave birth to him — then Rafael Cruz can't be an American, either.

Funny thing, logic. The crazy Republican base never seems to use it. We just hope that some enterprising journalist will pose the question to Cruz as he runs for an office that, by GOP reasoning, he's not eligible for. "Senator, if so many of your supporters think Barack Obama isn't an American, why are you?" We cats HISS.