Feeding Frenzy

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are waiting for Jeb! Bush's involvement in the Terri Schiavo case to catch up with him, nationally. We are not worried that it won't. Although the Iowa caucuses are 11 months away, that's plenty of time for right-wing evangelicals in the Hawkeye State to brand him as "the man who let Terri Schiavo die."

Yep, you read that right. While most clear-thinking, independent-minded Americans think of the Schiavo escapade as overreach by the state of Florida and the federal government, true-blue Bible bangers believe that Jeb! is a murderer. Why? Because he didn't send FDLE storm troopers into Terri's hospice to kidnap her and keep her alive. This is so great — because it promises lots of fireworks in the 2016 Republican primaries. Pop the popcorn!

But while we're amused by all that, we cats just want to sound one note of caution — or, maybe we should say, disgust. The thing that drives us most crazy about Republicans' positions on social issues like Schiavo — and, by extension, abortion — is their distrust of people's abilities to make their own decisions. Pretty ironic, considering they view themselves as the party of personal responsibility.

See, the evangelicals and anti-choice crazies — not to mention Jeb! — who took on Terri Schiavo as their cause du jour were making an argument that infantilized her. They were saying that Schiavo — a grown, married woman — could not possibly have discussed with her husband Michael her end-of-life decisions. Instead, it was her parents, not her spouse, who knew best what their little girl would want.

We cats find this outrageous. On top of all the other Bush-Schiavo conduct that made us spitting mad back in 2005, it was the dismissive attitude of "Oh, she couldn't have possibly understood what she wanted; leave it to Mommy and Daddy Schindler instead" that made us hack up the biggest hairball.

So we look forward to the Terri Schiavo free-for-all that will surely arise in the 2016 Republican caucuses. There are 99 counties in Iowa — that's 99 opportunities for the subject to come up. And we can't wait. In fact, it all makes us PURR.