While we're all waiting for election returns from Israel, let's return to the very strange subject of Missouri auditor Thomas Schweich's alleged suicide.
We say "alleged" because this whole story seems mighty fishy. You don't shoot yourself because some Republican lamebrain is going around saying you're an M.O.T. (Well, maybe in Missouri you do. We cats don't exactly have a favorable impression of the Show Me State these days.)
So we're thinking, maybe somebody offed him. Who knows? Let's find a prominent Republican to pin it on, a la Vince Foster.
In the meantime, though, we cats are most offended by the eulogy former GOP Senator John Danforth delivered at Schweich's funeral. First, because it was Danforth who gave it. He may be spending his post-Senate time in the Episcopal pulpit, but to us he will forever remain the jackass who helped saddle the nation with Clarence Thomas.
But what's bugging us most is the way Danforth spoke of "politics...gone so hideously wrong." It's that old false equivalency again — when the Schweich thing was a Republican whisper campaign going on in Republican circles about an expected Republican candidate. Amazing! As if today's politics of personal destruction weren't dreamed up in the first place by former RNC chair Lee Atwater (who is now, by the way, burning in hell because God punished him with a brain tumor).
"If this is what politics has become," Danforth whined, "what decent person would want to get into it?" This makes us ill. Danforth should call up Rancid Pieface, and Karl Rove, and Rush Limbaugh, and Ken Mehlman, and Cliven Bundy, and Steve Scalise, and Donald Trump, and Brian Fischer, and all the other right-wing, so-called Christian evangelical nutcases, and ask them that question. We cats HISS.
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