Monday, March 23, 2015

Too-Full Plates

By Miss Kubelik

We cats were vexed to discover that the Old Dominion is one of the states that allows drivers to buy specialty license plates that sport the Confederate flag. Ugh. We've never seen one of those up here in Northern Virginia — which is pretty blue and therefore unlike, say, the rest of Virginia. (At least, unlike the part of the commonwealth where Rafael Cruz announced his laughable candidacy for President today.)

But we see plenty of "Choose Life" plates — which are unbelievably ugly — and Gadsden flag plates, whose existence we still don't understand. We assume that they predated the teabags, but you never know.

And now, the Supreme Court has to decide whether racists and secessionists in Texas should be able to drive around with Confederate-flag plates on their cars — because the state's DMV refused to issue one and the Sons of Confederate Veterans (wouldn't they all be dead by now?) got their knickers in a twist.

You know what we cats say? Dump all the stupid specialty plates. They are ridiculous, a nuisance and a pain in the ass. States should find some other way to raise revenue — and actually, allowing drivers to personalize their tag numbers is probably lucrative enough. Keep that, but outlaw the special designs — kids, animals, the arts, education, "fighting terrorism," Purple Hearts, the whole shebang.

We know it sounds harsh, but it's the only way to resolve this "free speech" silliness (which in our view doesn't apply to state-issued license plates anyway, since it's the government, not the driver, making the statement). And once again, we turn to our neighbors in the True North to set the example. Canada has almost no specialty plates, and in the province in which we cats spend the most time, there are virtually none. (Except for one with a commemorative poppy. We excuse that because we do love that Flanders Fields poem.)

So, sorry, teabags. If you want to spread your messages of hate, we hope that the Supreme Court restricts you to bumper stickers. That would make us PURR.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I likewise don't get specialty plates. But on the other hand IF the asshats want to label themselves as such? Hey, it is definitely a "Here is your sign" moment, no?

The Cat's Meow said...

We cats object to the state getting involved in the asshats' self-labeling. What undoubtedly started out as a nifty new revenue stream has turned messy and silly. And we sympathize with law enforcement officers, who now have to recognize a zillion different plates from a distance instead of just 50. (See? We support our local police!)

sondi said...

Virginia is the leading state in the sale of vanity plates. I have one but it's for my company so is that OK? I do agree that the phrases on different plates has gone way too PC and I think there are over 85 different style plates you can choose from and I know when I see some of them, I want to hit the gas.
I must get a new bumper sticker that will piss off the far righters. It's so much fun looking in the rear view mirror and watching the looks on faces. It's either a big thumbs up or a sour face.

The Cat's Meow said...

We cats heartily endorse ANY plate promoting Au Purr & Au Paws! How could we not?? You take care of us when our humans are away!