Thursday, October 1, 2015

Is Frankie FUBAR?

By Zamboni

Is there any bigger political goof than Kevin "The Boob" McCarthy's unforced error about Benghazi the other night? Well, the alleged meeting between Pope Frankie and Kentucky's most famous homophobic county clerk might qualify.

We totally don't know, of course, but we like to think that this is driving Frankie crazy.

Think about it: His trip to America came off impeccably. He and his little Fiat charmed the nation (well, except for Hispanic-hating teabags who think he's a socialist), and we all just melted whenever he got within two feet of a special-needs kid or disabled person. (We cats admit we found that touching, too.) He made all the right moves: Lunching with the homeless, doing a better mea culpa with priest-abuse victims, and most important, soft-pedaling abortion and gay marriage in favor of immigration, income inequality and climate change. This must have totally frustrated wild-eyed religious nut cases like Fat Mike Huckabee. Fun!

So what happens? No sooner does he get back home than the Kim Davis news hits, and the world throws up on it.

Frankie is such a canny politician that this seems seriously out of step. And the details are murky. Who proposed the meeting and when? Why was it Davis's weirdly named attorney who broke the story, and not the Vatican? Why is the Vatican being so cagey about confirming or denying? It's like a terrorist attack that no one's claiming credit for.

So, we're fascinated. After all, did we ever doubt that Pope Francis is against gay people getting hitched? Of course he is, and he can go jump in the lake about that. But we don't really care — not just because marriage equality in America is a done deal, but because if Frankie can shame the world into tackling global warming, at least we know there'll be a lake left to jump into. So we cats turn the other cheek, HISSing and PURRing at the same time.

UPDATE: Maybe Frankie isn't FUBAR yet. He's just distanced himself from the Kim confab, which we cats think is more delicious than a plateful of fresh mice. Look for right-wing balloons to be deflated, and somebody in the Vatican to get quietly reassigned. Time to PURR.

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