"Meg" In A Mess

By Miss Kubelik

So, how long have the Brown people had this up their collective sleeve? Talk about rope-a-dope!

We cats think this has not been a good week for "Meg" Whitman. First, a new poll came out showing Jerry Brown leading her by 13 points in the California Governor's race. And now, this brilliant ad.

How we approve. Republicans spout things we Democrats could zap them on all the time, but we rarely do it. So we PURR in the direction of the Brown campaign for their moxie and their vision.

But what's particularly hilarious about this is that "Meg" has spent $163 million of her own money to buy the Governor's mansion for herself. Even if she threw in another $20 million, in our judgment it won't do her much good. She's reached the point of diminishing returns on her media buy already, so additional spending will probably cost her votes instead of taking 10 percent of Brown's support away.

So what to do? Although we're mindful that Brown hasn't won this election yet, we cats think that "Meg" has only four hopes left:

• Brown commits a massive and unrecoverable mistake between now and next Tuesday.
• The Whitman campaign has something huge on Brown that they've been waiting until the last moment to reveal. (Given how long Brown has been in public life, we think this improbable.)
• The Whitman campaign pulls off a massive GOTV effort, coupled with a successful sabotaging of the Brown GOTV machine.
• Whitman takes down all her current ads and replaces it with a final spot in which she talks directly to the camera, apologizing for running such a piss-poor campaign, for spending an unseemly amount of money, for hiring an illegal immigrant, for not voting, and for treating her employees badly when she was head of eBay.

If we cats were running her campaign, we'd tell "Meg" to go for that last one. Oh, and cue the tears.