We cats have better things to do tonight than watch election results, but a quick glance at preliminary numbers tells us that — uh, oh! — Rick "Don't Google My Name" Santorum is in another one of those, um, three-ways.
Goodness gracious, for an uptight prig who's obsessed with other people's sex lives, Ricky sure gets himself into plenty of compromising positions, doesn't he? We'd say don't tell Mrs. Santorum — but since she used to date an abortion doctor, she can't possibly be shocked.
(By the way, the thing about Karen Santorum and Dr. Thomas Allen that creeps us out is not that he used to provide abortion services. It's the fact that he delivered her as a baby! How ewwy is that?)
Wait! We just thought of something ewwier: Willard Mitt Romney, the Massachusetts millionaire who pals around with football team owners, pretending to talk Southern.
Ugh. On that note, we cats will hack up a hairball, and see ya'll tomorrow.
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