Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Memo to Ann Romney, Part One

By Sniffles

Dear Madam Ambassador:

Yes, we cats are addressing you as such, because your husband Willard has designated you his official liaison to 51-plus percent of the American electorate who are female. Seriously. Don't blame us, blame him!

And since any protestation from you will only yield a sheepish admission from him, let us proceed.

We cats have a ton of questions for you. In fact, we have so many, we can't list them all in one post. So we're breaking it up into two parts. Are you ready? Here goes!
  • Most of the police officers killed in the line of duty leave a widow behind. What's your position on banning cop-killer bullets?
  • What do you say to women who oppose "Stand Your Ground" laws?
  • The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act: For, or against? No waffles, please.
  • The Mississippi "personhood" amendment: For, or against?
  • "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell's invasive ultrasound legislation for women seeking abortions: For, or against?
  • Abortion in case of rape and incest: For, or against?
  • If a private health plan pays for erectile dysfunction medications, should it also be required to cover birth control? Yes or no?
  • Does your husband understand how hormonal birth control works?
  • Should the federal government de-fund all Planned Parenthood programs? If not, which Planned Parenthood programs would your husband fund, and which would he de-fund?
  • With more than one in four Texas children uninsured, what should be done to get every indigent woman and child in Texas the healthcare coverage they need?
Are you willing to discuss these substantive issues, and not just try to excuse your husband's history of dog abuse? Because your campaign is positioning you as having a serious policy role. Just wondering.

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