Up here in French-speaking Quebec, a "canard" is a duck. But down in Tampa, it still means "lie." And Republican canards were everywhere these last few days.
And not just then, either. With Republicans, canards are a constant. We cats are struck by how shameless they are about lying now. Their fibs are no longer swathed in a delicate veil of "compassionate conservatism." Nope, today's GOP is just flat-out bold about all the people they're going to suppress, deport, disenfranchise, rape and destroy.
So, while canard-ing was, hands down, the overriding theme of the Isaac-shortened, snake-bit 2012 Republican convention, a few other developments should not go unnoticed:
Clint Eastwood spoke, which was kinda funny because we cats generally treat GOP confabs like the Academy Awards — why waste hours watching when we can read the results in three minutes the next morning? Apparently, though, Clint Eastwood also bombed. In fact, his bizarre performance is threatening to become the story du jour. Where was the Oscar-night orchestra when they needed it?
Chuck Todd asked Rick Perry if he'd consider running for President again in 2016, and instead of instantly protesting, "Chuck! How can you ask that? Mitt Romney is going to be in the White House in 2016," Perry said, "Oh, absolutely!"
David Koch supports gay marriage? Does this mean we have to say nice things about him now? Nah. But it's another sure sign that the needle is moving inexorably toward equality. Sorry, Freepers.
Ann Romney is our nominee for queen of the GOP Freudian slip. "Time for a grown-up"? As if President Obama hasn't been the only grown-up in Washington these last three and a half years. Or is she implying that our African-American Commander in Chief is a "boy"? Whoops.
As for keynoter Chris Christie's (GURK!) "belly-flop" — why are we surprised? Most of his so-called political brain trust is made up of Giuliani people. And we all know what happened to Rudy Giuliani. (P.S. If they aren't Giuliani people, they're Steve Forbes people. Remember all the grand accomplishments of the Forbes Administration? Of course you don't.)
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