Fat Mike Huckabee is all umbrage-y that reporters are asking him about his sham diabetes cure. "I don't have to defend everything that I've ever done," he huffed to Bob Schieffer on Sunday.
Um, sorry, Fat Mike, but yes, you do. Everybody on your side of the aisle has to answer for stuff in their past, whether it be silly, small or, in the case of your cinnamon-roll "diabetes solution," serious. (How many unsuspecting admirers have you led into harming their health? We cats want to know.)
Part of it is because of the Internet machine and all that social media hazarai that we haven't yet dipped our paws into but realize is changing the political landscape almost as fast as Citizens United. But part of it, Fat Mike, is your party's own fault.
Why? Because of the hatemongering, destroy-them-at-all-costs tactics that the Republicans have employed since the 1980s. Lest you think it reached its apex with your fellow Arkansans, the Clintons, it's been going strong in the Obama era with birtherism and Jade Helm and all that other teabag nonsense. (You, yourself, Fat Mike, have counseled Americans to avoid joining the military until Barack Obama is out of office.) But as we know, it all began with Lee Atwater, whom God apparently killed at age 40 for his sins, and who we hope is now in Hell.
In the meantime, you Republicans are in a kind of hell yourselves. Because since the Clintons and other Democrats have to answer to absolutely every act they've ever taken, so must you all. It's the way of the world. The GOP made this big, ugly political bed we're in, so the GOP must also lie in it.
So, Fat Mike, we cats would like to know more about the miraculous healing powers of the cinnamon bun. In fact, we think you should be asked about it over, and over, and over again — and whether, since you're obviously getting fat again, you've been eating too many of them yourself. That would make us PURR.
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