Goodness gracious, but we are all agog at today's indictment of Dennis Hastert — former Republican Speaker of the House and current Turkish lobbyist extraordinaire. Naturally, we're trying to figure out what the kinda schlumpy Illinois Congressman did to make him agree to pay out zillions of dollars to "Individual A."
Sure, it could be something boring. But we cats totally vote for a homosexual molestation episode during Hastert's high school coaching days. Not just because we always found the wrestling-coach myth (and the media's promotion of it) irritating — and not only because it would throw the GOP into further gay conundrums. But because it would be the perfect bookend to the Duggar hetero-molestation thing.
What a week for Republicans! Democratic oppo researchers must be unearthing anti-Bill-Clinton Hastert quotes about purity and morality and straight-arrow behavior even as we speak, and in that mission we wish them Godspeed. We cats PURR.
UPDATE, May 29: It looks like we cats have hit the jackpot. Republican family values strike again!
No comments:
Post a Comment