Pen Pals

By Sniffles

We cats have always had a soft spot for the Prince of Wales. We wonder why. Is it because since everyone hates him, we have a natural affinity for the undercat?

Even before Dianamania took hold, it seemed, the world decided that Charles was a big-eared goofball, an impression interrupted by his brief interregnum as "Action Man," after which he became the goofball again. And as we all know, his reputation was later compounded by that of the Adulterous Betrayer (partly because of his hamfisted PR, at which he was terrible, but at which his equally adulterous wife was great).

It was as if we all collectively absorbed the attitude of Charles's gorgeous and most likely uncaring father, who was impatient with his eldest son's sensitivities and interests. What else could explain polls of Britons who pine for Charles to be skipped over in the line of succession, in favor of William?

Well, sigh — that's not how it works, folks. The British monarchy is never, ever, going to do something as bizarre as leapfrog a generation, especially after the abdication crisis of 1936 and the scandals of the 1990s. The House of Windsor will go straight down the line, thank you very much — and we cats actually think that once Charles ascends to the throne, you'll find those polls that currently favor his son quite turned on their heads. Just sayin'.

Meanwhile, we have to say we are quite taken with the "black spider memos," Charles's letters to policy makers, which although they are years old have come to light only through the Freedom of Information Act. We think that the British public will probably greet them with a yawn, but we cats are loving every syllable. And why not? Charles has shown himself to be an environmental/public policy/agricultural Renaissance man, interested in everything and concerned about public health. As the brilliant PBS series "Wolf Hall" has shown us, the UK could do a lot worse when it comes to its monarchs' interests. Could the world go wrong with a King of England who's worried about badger culling? We think not.

Let's put it this way: We cats are not looking forward to the day when Queen Elizabeth II checks out. But unlike everyone else on earth, we actually think that the United Kingdom will be in excellent monarchical hands once Charles III — or whatever name he chooses — takes the reins of non-power. He could be as formidable an advocate for causes like fighting climate change, combating urban poverty, and safeguarding public resources as, say, Pope Francis. Which is kinda ironic, if you think about it. We cats PURR.