Buck Buckles

By Miss Kubelik

Another not-great week for the GOP and the Trumpsters, and it's only Tuesday. Republican Congressman Ken Buck of the fourth district of Colorado, already not running for re-election this year, will leave Congress effective Friday, March 22.

So many hilarious sides to this.

The first is that Buck gave Preacher of the House Mike Johnson about 30 minutes' notice via a message he left on Johnson's phone. (That'll teach you not to pick up, Mike.) Meanwhile, Johnson is claiming he was completely blindsided, and intends to chat with Buck about it. (That'll teach you not to listen to your voice mail, too!)

The second is that Governor Jared Polis, being a Democrat who believes in the process, decided not to play any games — like, say, Ron DeSantis did with Alcee Hastings's seat in Florida — and immediately set a date for the special election to replace Buck: June 25, same as primary day. Fun fact: Lauren Boebert, who intended to run in the CO-04 primary since she can't possibly win in the district she currently represents, would have to resign to run in the special. Members of Congress can't represent two districts at the same time — a rule that even guardrail-crashing Republicans haven't managed to break yet.

The third is Buck's withering commentary on Johnson's out-of-control House. This session, he said today, is "the worst...of the nine years and three months I've been in Congress." HAHAHAHAHA.

And the last is that Buck's departure shaves Johnson's majority down to 218, versus 213 for the Democrats. HAHAHAHAHA again.

One final, non-Ken-Buck thought before bedtime: We cats have never rushed to jump on the bash-Merrick-Garland bandwagon. There's too much stuff that all of us outside the Department of Justice don't know, and that's how it should be — mostly, to protect defendants' rights. But after the Robert Hur spectacle on Capitol Hill today, we have to say, Garland's decision to appoint Hur Special Counsel for the Biden documents investigation is something we just don't get.

We're glad the Democrats were able to embarrass Hur — and Trump, and the ridiculous House Republicans. So it all worked out in the end. But the crap we had to endure to get to this point? It makes us HISS.