Gustav Messes With the GOP

By Baxter

It looks as if there won't be much of a party in St. Paul after all — at least, not tomorrow night.

Sucker-punched by Hurricane Gustav, the Republicans are scaling back their convention. No Bush. No Cheney. And depending on how the week goes, maybe even no McCain.

(These storm-related no-shows, of course, are in addition to the prominent Republicans in tight races who can't afford to be tainted by the brand: Senators like Gordon Smith of Oregon and John Sununu of New Hampshire. Oh, and California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger — who is not up for re-election — suddenly decided he had to stay in Sacramento and deal with budget problems. But, we digress.)

We'd feel sorry for the Republicans and their logistical nightmares — not to mention their lost marketing opportunities — but for two reasons.

First, the Republicans would have absolutely no compassion or sympathy for Democrats under similar circumstances. Proof: Although Republicans put on a great show of bipartisan comity after September 11, by 2002 they had whirled around and cut our electoral throats. (If you don't believe us, just ask former Senator Max Cleland of Georgia, a war hero whose patriotism they viciously and effectively trashed.)

Second reason: Stuart Shepard of "Focus on the Family." You remember him — the former pastor who asked Christians to pray that Senator Obama's acceptance speech be washed out by torrential rain?

Nope. The only people we feel sorry for today are the people of New Orleans. And, of course, any Republicans who fruitlessly argued against their party's greedy plan to schedule their convention as close to the anniversary of September 11 as possible. If they'd prevailed, it would be over already. Instead... they're dealing with Gustav.

"Payback's a" — well, you know what they say.

(Image: Warner Bros., "What's Opera, Doc?")