How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

By Zamboni

We've heard some scuttlebutt that Governor Tim Pawlenty and former Governor Mitt Romney are pretty ticked off at Senator John McCain for the way the presumptive Republican nominee jerked them around during the V.P. selection process.

Actually, we cats were a little surprised at the Palin pick, too — as you know from our earlier posts. But of course we're not distressed at all. In fact, we agree with the Democratic strategist who yesterday e-mailed the gang on MSNBC's "Morning Joe," "Oh, please let John McCain's running mate be Sarah Palin!"

But in the meantime — a moment of silence, please, for the Pawlenty and Romney teams, who are going through the Kubler-Ross five stages of death but who haven't yet gotten past the one called "anger."

And really, how can you blame them? Governor Pawlenty was told by the McCainiacs to get the heck out of Denver and start preparing his remarks. Governor Romney — who famously does not get along with Senator McCain — aggressively campaigned for the V.P. spot and did everything a good Republican soldier should: traveling the country, going on T.V., regurgitating Republican talking points — even coming to Senator McCain's defense when he couldn't remember how many homes he owned.

Instead, Senator McCain chose an inexperienced Governor from a remote state, someone whom he'd met in person once. Yes, if we were Pawlenty or Romney, we cats would be plenty mad — arching our backs, fattening our tails, and HISSING.

But — oh, well. Probably by the end of the week — assuming that Hurricane Gustav, already a Category 4, doesn't delay proceedings at all — the Republicans in St. Paul will kiss and make up. But the real story of this horribly mismanaged nomination probably won't be fully told until November 4, when we see how Minnesota and Michigan vote.

Why? Well, because Senator McCain was considering both Governors Pawlenty and Romney for sounder political reasons than the obvious, craven ones that compelled him to choose Governor Palin: He wanted to win Minnesota and Michigan. Both would be huge prizes in the Electoral College, obviously. And in Minnesota there's a crucial Senate race going on between the creepy Norm Coleman and Democrat Al Franken, a guy who we think Paul Wellstone would be enormously proud to see take his seat. So in short, there would be plenty of up-ticket/down-ticket reasons to pick either Pawlenty and Romney — and we're wondering how those men's loyalists in both states (and how the party establishment in Minnesota in particular) feel today.

Maybe like hacking up a hairball?