Say It Ain't So, John

By Zamboni

The news is out: Former Senator John Edwards has admitted to an extramarital affair in an interview that will be broadcast tonight.

Our first reaction was gratitude that former Senator Edwards was never on the short list for Vice President this year. Our second reaction was — as our friends in Quebec would say — "Oh, merde." For some reason — breast cancer? gripping history of family tragedy? — this one really hurts.

But over and above the pain of the Edwards family, we cats have a request. Can we please get out of politicians' personal lives?

You know, unless it's a something that demonstrates intrinsic hypocrisy, something like — 1) Cindy McCain making zillions off the sale of Anheuser-Busch to InBev, 2) John McCain posing as an all-American pillar of rectitude when he left his loyal, crippled wife for a beer heiress after he got home from Viet Nam, 3) Republican Congressman Vito Fossella, exemplar of family values, driving drunk and fathering children out of wedlock, 4), professional Christian Ralph Reed making an illegal bundle with Jack Abramoff, or 5) evangelist Ted Haggard railing against gays while regularly meeting a male prostitute — don't bother us with it.

In short, if the candidate's personal life isn't in direct conflict with his professed public policy, we couldn't care less.

What we are interested in is whether a public figure lectures us about our lives and condemns others — all the while engaging in some highly suspect behavior himself. We don't care if it's financial, sexual or whatever. Just don't pretend to be holier than thou when you're not.

As for John, we cats love you, but we're very sorry to say that we'll never again jump in your lap and purr. You make us want to GROWL.