Crist Marriage Doomed

By Zamboni

But not for the reason you think. (Although, that doesn't help.)

The Miami Herald reports this morning that the Charlie Crist-Carole Rome wedding invitations have gone out. And it's — gasp! — "black tie optional."

We're sorry, but if Governor Crist has larger career ambitions in mind (and we suspect he does, hence this, um, engagement), he simply must understand that no self-respecting political couple would ever make their wedding guests decide how to dress.

All the Governor has to do is pick up a copy of any book by Judith Martin, a.k.a. Miss Manners, the ultimate authority on all things correct.

Weddings are either formal or informal. "Semi-formal," under which the horrid "black tie optional" would fall, simply doesn't exist. "When you refuse to tell the guests what to wear... each of them shows up for a different party," Miss Manners explains. "When each of the guests are all secretly convinced that they are the ones who are incorrectly dressed, it throws a damper on the festivities."

Not that there isn't already a pretty big damper on that wedding! But we cats will not discuss elephants, either in or out of the room. What we will say is that Governor Crist should find the moxie to tell his guests whether or not they should wear white tie, black tie or business suits.