Not Missing Nixon After All

By Zamboni

The Previously Worst Person Who's Ever Lived (Before George W. Bush Came Along) is still revealing himself, 15 years after his death.

New tapes n' memos n' stuff from the Richard M. Nixon Administration are coming out, and it appears that Nixon was not the anti-abortion fire-breather that so many in his party are today. Instead, the President who presided over Roe v. Wade was fairly measured in his response to it, even in private. Gosh, is it possible he wasn't so bad after all?

Then we read a little further. Oh. Never mind.

"There are times when an abortion is necessary," Nixon told an aide. "I know that. When you have a black and a white."

So, thank you, Tricky Dick. Lest we feel too charitable toward him in the wake of the awfulness of Bush, Nixon himself speaks from beyond the grave and handily reminds us of the way he won the White House. He was the first Republican President, in fact, who used the so-called "Southern Strategy" — romancing the racists who were stampeding away from the Democrats for enacting civil rights. And as we sadly know from recent events, the GOP has been home to the haters ever since.

We HISS at Richard Nixon. Wonder how he'd feel about the son of "a black and a white" sitting in his Oval Office chair?