Monday, July 22, 2013

Panic In Cootchy World

By Sniffles

Did we say that Terry McAuliffe had a good debate this weekend, and Ken Cuccinelli had a bad one? We cats know all. Here's proof: The Evil Forces of Cootch have hired a new debate coach.

In case you're tempted to say "big deal," listen up. The debate was on Saturday afternoon — in the middle of summer, when everyone's either on vacation or running errands. It was streamed live, not broadcast. So, although we're pleased that Terry did well, we understand that in reality, no voters saw it. Yet the Cuccinelli campaign rushed to hire a new coach less than 24 hours later?

Our feline intuition tells us that the Cootchy pollster had his little dials strapped tight to his focus groups, and got some very bad news. And given that Republican pollsters are incompetent, we can only imagine what the real voter impression of the debate was, if this one said Cootchy bombed. Since we'd assume they were paying special attention to independents and women, the results must have been frightening.

Then again, hiring a debate coach whose real talent is teaching angry white men how to appeal to other angry white men probably won't help much in the general election. But who are we to second-guess the team that delivered Virginia's electoral votes to McCain and Romney? (Whoops!) We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: You could almost call them Biff and Happy.)

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