We cats promised more posts on the indictment of Virginia's former Republican Governor, "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell, and his fake-blonde wife Maureen on 14 felony counts — and we will not disappoint.
Today's theme: What's the cheesiest revelation in the juicy 43-pager that federal prosecutors issued yesterday?
Was it Maureen's frantic plea to a staffer about how she and Transvaginal Bob had no money, and that the inaugural clothing budget was going to break them? Or maybe the photo of Transvaginal Bob behind the wheel of a $200,000 Ferrari that Maureen gleefully e-mailed to Jonnie Williams, the car's owner? Perhaps it was the buying, selling and subsequent re-buying of Star Scientific stock — carefully timed so that Transvaginal Bob would not have to report any of it? Or the eye-popping list of goodies that the McDonnells will have to surrender if they're convicted?
It's a feast of sensory overload, seamy and wonderful. But if we cats had to choose, we'd pick Maureen McDonnell's frantic effort in early 2013 to return all the clothes Jonnie Williams bought her on that now-infamous, $15,000 New York shopping spree — and the lie she concocted to cover the spree up.
To Jonnie she writes: "I truly hope your daughter will now be able to enjoy these lovely outfits and show them off on many grand occasions. If not, I'm sure there are many exemplary charitable organizations like we talked about [emphasis ours] who [sic] would welcome the opportunity to auction them for a wonderful cause, having been worn only once by the first lady of Virginia to her daughter's wedding at the Executive Mansion and celebrating her 35th wedding anniversary with the Governor."
This is beyond hilarious — first, that the daughter of a wealthy man would want to wear (or would fit in) Maureen's sweaty cast-offs, no matter how expensive they were. Second, that any charity would build a fundraising auction around those same sweaty cast-offs. It is low, laughable, and grandiose — all at the same time.
If Lloyd Bentsen were still around, he'd say this to Maureen McDonnell:
"Maureen, I knew Princess Diana. Princess Diana was a friend of mine. And you, Maureen, are no Princess Diana."
We cats PURR.
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