Friday, January 24, 2014

Stop The Week. The GOP Wants To Get Off.

By Zamboni

A full year after the last time the Republican Party met and performed its since-ignored "autopsy," the GOP has just closed out what has to be one of its worst weeks in history.

Even we cats are agog at the crap that's hit them lately. Of course, all of it is their fault, and, in our humble opinion, completely deserved — but, still. Let's review the latest, shall we?
  • Fat Mike Huckabee gave us another priceless War On Women newsclip, pontificating about something he knows absolutely nothing about. (Sex.)
  • Steve Pearce jumped on that bandwagon, too, declaring in a new book that women should submit to their husbands. Hm.
  • Anti-choicers froze to death, trying to "march for life" in Washington's subzero temperatures.
  • A famous Republican child-porn enthusiast killed himself.
  • Former Virginia Governor "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell and his greedy, Stella-Dallas-reincarnated wife were indicted and arraigned on 14 federal charges.
  • The ever-creepy Eric Cantor pledged to rush his "no federal funds for baby killing" bill to the House floor, jumping it to the head of the line while millions of Americans languish without an unemployment insurance extension.
  • Virginia Republicans went all tinfoil-hatty over Attorney General Mark Herring's decision not to defend the Old Dominion's ban on gay marriage. "I don't know what the difference between a dictatorship and this is," one state senator screamed. Did he miss last fall's election?
  • The Christie parade marched on — with new subpoenas issued and Ken "Fetuses Should Get EZPass Priority" Cuccinelli calling for Christie to "step aside" as head of the Republican Governors Association.
  • Haley Barber called Hoboken's Dawn Zimmer a "lady mayor."
  • And last but not least, Netflix began streaming the new documentary, "Mitt" — a painful reminder to Republicans of their not-so-glorious recent past. We should all as lucky as Mrs. 47 Percent, "consoled only by her horses." What?
Have a great weekend, GOP! We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Daily Kos)

(UPDATE: Goodness gracious, how could we cats have overlooked the dramatic indictment of the repellent Dinesh D'Souza on campaign finance fraud? This was one of the most satisfying events of the week! We hope Dinesh has lots of horses to console him.)

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