Cat Fight! Bush vs. The Freepers

By Baxter

So Jeb! Bush has been "the new GOP front-runner" for all of one day, and already two big negative stories are making the rounds. The first, which reminds us cats an awful lot of Willard Mitt Romney, avers that Jeb! was a weed-smoking bully in high school. (Willard didn't smoke anything, Mormon that he is, but he was a bully, too.) The second, which we think is far more dangerous, is a recap of the Terri Schiavo nightmare.

L'affaire Schiavo poses more of a threat to Jeb! because it slams him from all sides. Normal Americans were appalled that Jeb!, his brother the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived, and the Republican jackasses in Congress dared to interfere in a family's private medical decisions. (Although it wasn't necessarily surprising. Republicans have always been happy to barge into women's doctors' offices.) Meanwhile, right-wing evangelical whackjobs, like the teabags and the Freepers, hate Jeb! because he let Terri Schiavo die.

So we cats aren't sure how Jeb! is going to navigate this one, particularly if he's the at the top of the 2016 ticket. But of course he has to get that nomination first. And it only takes one visit to our favorite friends over at Free Republic to see what he's up against:

"The powers that be don't have a clue how much the starvation murder of Teri [sic] Schiavo means to a lot of pro-life conservatives. If Jeb's the force-fed nominee, no more excuses. It's irreversibly past time for a third party."

"Jeb, I am not only going to delight in watching you fall on your stupid, coke-bottled, big fat face, I am going to actively work to see that you are destroyed in the primaries."

"I can’t wait to vote for Jeb…said not one person ever."

"The sheer arrogance of Jeb Bush is breathtaking. It’s going to be a real pleasure to do everything within my power to make sure this m*****r loses. I don’t care if it’s in the primaries or the general election."

And finally, here's our favorite, bar none:

"If Jeb is the nominee, I will not only stay home, I will vote for the Democrat so the GOP loses by a bigger margin."

We cats PURR.