Tuesday, February 4, 2020

App-alling

By Sniffles

What an (ahem) interesting 24 hours it's been. The technical difficulties in the Hawkeye State have only served as another reminder why the Iowa caucuses need to be struck dead for good and all. It's already pretty undemocratic — many people can't give up a whole evening to caucus, those with disabilities often aren't given accommodation, and there's no secret ballot — and yes, at 90-plus percent white, the state is horribly unrepresentative. So it's probably time to stop giving Iowa a try.

But before we get too riled up about last night's Iowa "app-ocalypse," remember that in 2012 it was the Republicans who were a mess. President Santorum, anyone?

Everyone needs to take a deep breath.

Iowa will become a distant memory as 2020 grinds on. But in the meantime, we can declare with confidence that Pete Buttigieg got a boost, Bernie Sanders only got half of his 2016 numbers, and Joe Biden better start dialing for some dollars. We're not sure what to say about Warren and Klobuchar, but after Benedict Donald was caught behaving like a rude six-year-old at his Super Bowl party, it's clear who the enemy is. (That's something Mike Bloomberg seems to get — because he's running another blistering ad right before tonight's SOTU kickoff.)

Our point is this: Whether the Democrats nominate Pete Buttigieg or Pete Townshend, Bernie Sanders or Bernie Schwartz, Joe Biden or Joe Shlabotnik, Elizabeth Warren or Warren Buffett, count us in. Trump must go. That's all that matters. We cats PURR.

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