Sunday, February 9, 2020

"Keeping The Republic" Is Expensive.

By Miss Kubelik

It's been a trying week for American democracy. The balance of powers took a hit with the complicit Senate Republicans voting to acquit Benedict Donald of inviting foreign interference in our elections — even though the House had proved its case. And then the chaos of the Iowa caucuses started a lazy-media refrain on Democratic disarray (something we hear every four years because, well, as noted, the media are lazy).

But even in the midst of all this fog, we cats are seeing something coming into focus. It's how we're going to beat Trump in the fall. It's only February. But here are our thoughts.

If Citizens United has permanently screwed over American elections — at least, until another SCOTUS decision or an act of Congress can undo it — let's be honest: The only Democratic Presidential candidate right now who can make it work to our advantage is Michael Bloomberg.

As Bloomberg's campaign manager explained in December, the Trumpsters are running a general-election campaign while we Democrats are busy holding our primaries. (The GOP essentially shut theirs down.) While we're consumed with Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina, the ever-unappealing Brad "Weird Beard" Parscale is focusing on Arizona, Florida, Michigan, North Carolina, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania — swing states that will decide who wins in November.

But Bloomberg is there. With ads on the airwaves, and with organizers on the ground.

"We’re running ads against the President right now in the upper Midwest, Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and we’ll stretch that to 10 other states,” said Bloomberg's campaign manager, Kevin Sheekey. "Mike has started the general election now on behalf of Democrats and, again, is doing things that are not designed to benefit his candidacy but are meant to weaken the President, so when there is a nominee, we can replace him."

Yes, we're all appalled at big money in politics. But as we've said, Citizens United isn't going away before November. Democrats have a billionaire — a real one, mind you — spending strategically against Donald Trump. It's a brilliant plan to defeat a corrupt, unrestrained incumbent backed by Vladimir Putin. And we think it makes Parscale worried. We cats PURR.

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