Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Fine Messes

By Hubie and Bertie

We're going to ignore Benedict Donald's silly trip to East Palestine, Ohio, today — not just because the sight of him handing out 13-year-old bottled water and tossing MAGA caps is ridiculous, but because we'd so much rather publish a photo of the ravishingly handsome head of the EPA, Michael Regan.

Regan has been at the train wreck site for some time now, meeting with residents and tasting the tap water. Today, he put some teeth — no, fangs — in the government's response, ordering Norfolk Southern to pay for the entire cleanup or face fines of $70,000 a day. This is the kind of stuff you can do when you hold the reins of government, unlike an out-of-power has-been like Donald Trump.

As much as the Trumpsters and their allies on the ground in East Palestine would like it, they're not controlling the narrative there. That they're trying so hard is proof that they know things are looking pretty dicey on their side. The story about Arizona's former attorney general, Republican Mark Brnovich, covering up an investigation that revealed no 2020 voter fraud in Maricopa County is just one of the latest headlines to hit our screens.

Another is today's news that special counsel Jack Smith has subpoenaed Ivanka Trump and her creepy husband in Smith's January 6 investigation. And there's some interesting speculation that their subpoenas have something to do with Mike Pence trying to dodge his.

"What [Pence's] call with #45 that Ivanka overheard may have included were words to the effect that Pence agreed to do it and backed out. If Pence said something like 'I changed my mind,' he's admitted he was part of the conspiracy. But like the driver in a bank heist who gets cold feet and drives off...he is liable for everything that comes after, and remains fully responsible for all crimes committed."

Intriguing! Ivanka may find it tougher to skate through her testimony this time, because Smith will be sitting her down not on a Zoom with Congressional staff but before a grand jury. (And while they've got Jared there, maybe they can ask him to explain that $2 billion he got from the Saudis.) We cats PURR.

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