Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Questions That Aren't Getting Asked
We cats are not exactly holding our breath to see if the Republican Congress will delay the Electoral College vote on December 19. After all, the CIA says a hostile foreign power intervened in the Presidential election — why worry?
But it's dawned on us that everybody's focused on Russian interference with the general election. If Vladimir Putin was so enamored with Donald Trump from the get-go, why wouldn't he have messed with the Republican primaries too? We're wondering if this has occurred to the other members of the GOP clown college, whom Trump managed to knock out with surprising ease.
How did Trump steamroll the other clowns? By needling them and getting under their skins, right? And what is the former Soviet KGB, which Putin used to run, most renowned for? Psychiatric operations — PSYOPS — the effectiveness of which is scarily magnified on social media and the Interwebs, but which we can easily imagine being put to use as Trump faced his Republican adversaries in the debates.
Picture it: Trump is handed a short set of index cards with bullet points. (Yes, index cards. He doesn't use email.) The cards say: "Tell Jeb Bush he's 'low-energy.' Call Marco Rubio 'Little Marco.' Make fun of way John Kasich eats. Insult Fiorina's face. Call Ted Cruz a basket case and a failure." And so on and so forth.
No policy details. No in-depth proposals, or how he'd do things differently from his rivals. Just insults and sound bites.
And it worked. The only question is: Who translated all of it from the original Russian? We cats HISS.
UPDATE: Lady Lindsey Graham has just confirmed our theory. Who's next? (Not Rick Perry, we bet!)