So Mitch Daniels took the weenie way out and sent an e-mail at midnight on Saturday, saying he wouldn't run for President in 2012. Goodness gracious, what a way to inform your would-be supporters. Daniels partisans (and we have no idea why they exist) surely were the only people who believed the world was actually ending that night.
We cats will pass over the Governor's vaguely offensive remark about "the women's caucus" having a "veto," since he recently saw fit to make the lives of so many Indiana women worse by cutting off Planned Parenthood funding. We simply suspect that Daniels has declined to run because he'd hoped to keep another family shoe from dropping, and that it became clear over the weekend that he was wishing in vain. What that shoe could be, after everything we already know, we cats haven't a clue. Particularly with the wild lives these Republicans live.
Speaking of which, it's dawned on us how many prominent members of the GOP crowd have self-destructed lately, and for such a variety of amazing reasons. For example:
George W. Bush — The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived is perhaps the quintessential example, considering how he ran his disastrous Presidency (and the country) into the ground. Our only objection is that we all had to suffer along.
Arnold Schwarzenegger —Was it just a few years ago that Republicans wanted to amend the Constitution so that Arnold could run for President? Later, of course, those folks morphed into birthers — screaming that Barack Obama was an affront to that same sacred text. It just makes our furry little heads spin.
Newt Gingrich — The king of needless self-immolation has been mercifully (but surely, only temporarily) shoved out of the headlines by Mitch Daniels.
Donald Trump — Humiliated by the release of the Obama long-form birth certificate and then by the President himself at the White House Correspondents Dinner, Trump finally declared he loves reality television more than his country. But — wait! He might be back! Republicans, gird thyselves.
Mark Sanford — We'll never forget that jaw-dropping 2009 press conference when this alleged Presidential contender admitted to not hiking the You-Know-What Trail.
John Ensign — Oy.
Rick Santorum — A man who knows nothing says he understands more about torture than John McCain. You know, in a just world, somebody would give Santorum some actual experience on that subject now.
Sarah Palin — Need we say more, post-Tucson? She's never recovered. And now the slew of tell-all books is beginning. Still and all, we cats believe that the famous animal killer from Alaska harbors secret hopes that she can beam in and grab the Republican nomination late in the game. Particularly since she's obviously too lazy to spend the next year engaged in get-your-hands-dirty retail politics.
Has this list covered them all? If not, no worries. Surely in the coming weeks and months, there will be more to add. We cats PURR.
UPDATE #1: In the wake of yesterday's special election, we cats can't believe that we forgot to include Craigslist Congressman Christopher Lee in this Republican Hall of Shame. Now we understand why the cat food we eat says "Senior" on the can!
UPDATE #2: Although his "Macaca" moment was a few years back, we'd be remiss if we didn't put George Allen on this list as well. Especially since he thinks he can be a Senator again.
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