Okay, we have read the Senate Ethics Committee's report on John Ensign. As you might suspect, we cats prefer to groom ourselves. But after digesting the sordid Ensign saga, we feel like taking a bath the way humans do. Then we'd take a shower to wash the dirty water off us — and then take another bath. It's that bad, folks.
The whole time we were reading it, we kept flashing on the fact that this awful, awful man was just a few years ago touted as Republican Presidential timber. We believe we already have pointed out the fact that Ensign barely had the right to breathe oxygen on planet Earth, let alone think about living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
If Republicans were considering Ensign to be White House material, where does that leave the rest of their potential candidates? In a pretty sorry state, let us tell you. Actually, we cats can't remember a more reprehensible Republican field. It's wide open in the first place because their 2008 Vice Presidential nominee is a moron (remember, they're a hierarchical party). And who do they have to take her place? Guys who flip-flop, guys who would have voted against the 1964 Civil Rights Act, guys who don't believe in evolution. Incredible.
Which got us to thinking. In the insanity that defines the GOP today, are there any Republicans who are reasonable? Over several beers at our local pub, we managed tonight to scrape up five names. Here they are. And may we say, none of them will have a speaking role at the 2012 Republican Convention.
Jon Huntsman — We cats admit right up front that we think that Mandarin speaker and former Ambassador to China Jon Huntsman is cute, cute, cute! But aside from that, he's kinda liberal (in a Utah sort of way), and has said and written very nice things about President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton. For which he's earned the everlasting indemnity of the teabaggers and Freepers — which means he's a-okay with us.
Senator Richard Lugar — This ancient Hoosier has not only called out the tea party, he voted for both Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan for the Supreme Court. 'Nuff said.
Dede Scozzafava — Who could forget the moment that the valiant but un-spellable Scozzafava threw her support to the Democrat in the NY-23 election in 2009? And oh, how the GOP has punished her. We want to be martyred with you, Dede!
Gordon Smith — The former Oregon Senator used to be the ultimate example of nutty right-wingism. But now that the GOP has gone off the deep end, his independent streak and willingness to work with the other side appear downright reasonable. Gordon, we hardly knew ye.
Lisa Murkowski — The Alaska Senator just barely squeaked onto this list. Mostly because we don't trust her; she's the daughter of a crook and has been seen air-kissing Sarah Palin. But her gutsy comeback last year against Palin teabagger candidate and all-around jackass Joe Miller has earned her points. She's on this list until somebody more reasonable bumps her — something for which we don't exactly have high hopes.
Oy. It was so tough coming up with these five people that we cats are depressed. This is not good for our country. Time for a nap.
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