Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Would The Teabags Demand Hamilton's Birth Certificate?

By Baxter

In our previous lives, we cats traveled pretty extensively in the Caribbean. And one of our favorite islands was Nevis, which — joined at the hip with St. Kitts — makes up a nation of about 55,000 lucky people.

So imagine our excitement when we toured the Nevis capital of Charles Town back then, and found the birthplace of Alexander Hamilton. (At the time, by the way, Lin-Manuel Miranda was about six.) Yep, one of America's most important Founding Fathers was an out-of-wedlock immigrant to the colonies, looked down upon by the Adamses and the Jeffersons of the world.

Gosh, we wish we could go back to Nevis tomorrow. Suffice to say that we're sorry that Hamilton had to fight prejudice against his origins, since the island where he was born is so incredibly charming. But we guess that a lot of people feel that way now, having seen the wild success of Miranda's hip-hop musical, "Hamilton."

Which brings us to one of Alexander Hamilton's favorite topics — money. We cats heartily endorse Treasury Secretary Jack Lew's decision not to dislodge A.H. from the ten-dollar bill. How much better to boot Andrew "Trail of Tears" Jackson from the twenty, replacing him with the brave and brilliant Harriet Tubman.

Was Andrew Jackson a founder of the Democratic Party? Yes. Was the party aligned with the slaveholding South until the New Deal, the Great Migration and the Civil Rights Act of 1964? Indeed. So are we willing to let Andrew Jackson go? Oh, you betcha.

And by the way, idiot Ben Carson's suggestion that Harriet Tubman appear on the two-dollar bill is not only stupid but depressing. We cats know that Carson has no influence on who gets on what currency. It's just dispiriting that an accomplished African American would say that, and it makes us HISS.

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