Tidbits And Cat Treats: Jeffrey Epstein Edition

By Baxter

Now that it's been a couple of days since Jeffrey Epstein crossed the Rainbow Bridge, we cats feel it's finally time to opine. Since this is obviously a developing (and beyond-the-stars huge) story, these won't be our last words on the subject. But here goes.

Attorney General William Barr is "appalled," but here's the bottom line: Either Epstein was allowed to commit suicide while he was in federal custody, or the Trump Administration had him killed. Take your pick. Barr will try to blame anybody but himself, but this happened on his watch, and if this were a normal time in American political history he would have had to resign by now.

Every time the folks on cable TV talk about Epstein, they show still photos and heads shots that we've seen a hundred times. Why have they stopped showing the video of Trump and Epstein ogling girls at that party at Mar-A-Lago? You know that if it were Bill Clinton standing there with Epstein, it would be all we'd see.

Also, we've never seen a photo of Hillary Clinton with Epstein. But there are, however, a few of him and Melania. Again, if pictures like that of the Clintons existed, journalists would be showing them nonstop.

Benedict Donald's instant retweet of a Clinton-murdered-Epstein conspiracy theory is projection taken to a new level. Nobody should laugh at this.

We're trying not to succumb to conspiracies ourselves, but we think it's awfully fishy that a guy who had always successfully evaded justice before — and who was now spending up to 12 hours a day with his attorneys, preparing his case — should suddenly decide to chuck it all and hang himself. We're not saying it's not possible: It's just weird. And it keeps getting weirder.

If an Epstein victim was recruited while she was working at the Obama home in Chicago, the Republicans would have had Obama arrested within hours and then shot off into space.

Finally, speaking of the victims: It's a damn shame they won't get to face him in court. They deserved a real Larry Nassar smackdown, didn't they? So disappointing. We hope they find relief in the passage of time and good therapy. Meanwhile, we cats HISS.