Monday, March 23, 2020

Klobuchar Is Classy, Rand Is A Rat

By Miss Kubelik

About a week ago, former Republican Congressman and Presidential candidate Ron Paul published an online piece about the coronavirus. He called Dr. Anthony Fauci a "fearmonger" and freaked out that, in the pandemic, the mayor of Champaign, Illinois, had banned the sale of — you guessed it — guns. "People should ask themselves," Paul wrote, "whether this coronavirus 'pandemic' could be a big hoax."

Then yesterday, news broke that the elder Paul's son, Kentucky Senator and renowned jackass Rand Paul, had tested positive for the virus. He'd had his test days before, but had continued to attend Senate functions, including a GOP caucus luncheon in close quarters. He worked out in the Senate gym and went for a swim in the pool. Five Senators are isolating, one of whom, Mitt Romney, was mocked by Benedict Donald at his Sunday afternoon White House lie-fest. (Do we need to note here that both Pauls are physicians? Incredibly, yes, they are.)

Controversy immediately erupted as to why Rand Paul was able to be tested for COVID-19 so quickly, particularly since he was asymptomatic at the time. Since "Anybody that wants a test can get a test" is proving to be the "If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor" of the Trump era, it's a legitimate question. Not even folks with coronavirus symptoms have access. Why did Rand Paul?

The Paulites and Trumpsters may bluster back with "Well, he's a Senator!" We cats say, piffle. Here's why.

This morning, Democratic Senator Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota announced that her husband has been diagnosed with coronavirus. He has pneumonia and is in a hospital in Virginia. In her official statement, Senator Klobuchar made one thing perfectly clear:

"I wanted to let my colleagues and constituents know that since John and I have been in different places for the last two weeks and I am outside the 14-day period for getting sick, my doctor has advised me to not get a test. As everyone is aware, there are test shortages for people who need them everywhere, and I don’t qualify to get one under any standard."

That, dear readers, is the difference between a responsible public servant and a selfish, arrogant bastard. That is the difference between a good person and a cad. That is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican. We cats HISS.

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