Saturday, February 18, 2012

The GOP, Unprotected

By Baxter

We cats are getting the impression that the Republican Party, which already has made an unholy mess of its 2012 primary/caucus season, is heading into some treacherous waters.

You're wondering, what? They're not already there? We admit that's a compelling argument. After all, the GOP has not only managed to run through more flavors of the week than Baskin-Robbins, they've crafted a nominating calendar that practically guarantees a long, drawn-out race, screwed up every caucus they've run to date, and hammered each other relentlessly with negative ads. And in just the last few weeks, they've repulsed millions of American women (you know how) and Hispanics (check this out!!).

No wonder the only way the Koch brothers see the Republicans winning this year is by suppressing the Democratic vote.

As if those headaches weren't enough, the whispers have started in top GOP circles about what to do if Willard Mitt Romney can't win Michigan in 10 days. They're frantically shuffling through the primary states with late filing deadlines, trying to figure out if there's a potential candidate who can win enough delegates to serve as a kind of human "morning-after pill" should Willard wilt in the Wolverine State.

Of course, there hasn't been a multi-ballot nomination at a national party convention since the 1950s — but the GOP's been so ham-handed this year that we cats are confident they can manage it.

This is a dangerous way to live. The Republican Party is riding in a careening clown car that's packed with teabaggers, libertarians, Bible bangers, white supremacists, rednecks and effete inside-the-Beltway types who think they can decide what's best for everybody.

Nobody's wearing their seat belt. And nobody's got an aspirin to hold between their knees.

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